Feeling very “Wells for Boys”

Hellllooooooo again ⭐️ I’m a bit over it.

I grew up walking along a driveway, enclosed by an archway of trees, to and from school every day. I think this driveway had a lot to do with the way I learnt to process. The walk to school in general was a nice time to myself, but the driveway was this private piece of time where I could be myself without anyone’s influence. It was a portal between the troubles at home and at school.

I sometimes wish I was able to live more deeply in the real world. It’s a returning inner conflict. I scold myself for not understanding the finer details or reading the instructions. For always returning to the figurative driveway.

This week I felt the shame of my tendency to contemplate, because I want to fight faster, to change the system, to burn it down. I was blessed to be offered the validating essay, Poetry Is Not a Luxury, by Audre Lorde (link included below).

I am a deeply feelings based person, something I am learning how to use positively, without losing reason or reality.

I am resisting the habit of reprimanding myself for who I am. It is not coming easily this week. Though it’s a tricky line to walk when we are unlearning our conditioning. As a white settler I need to be turning over every stone in my psyche to see where unchecked bias and privilege lives. So there’s an ongoing process of distinction between self analysis and challenging myself vs. caring for my inherent nature that should be loved rather than shamed.

I took my mother’s maiden name ~Windshuttle~ and I think it suits me. I relate to the wind. I’m unpredictable, even to myself. I change at such a rapid pace which can be expansive, exciting and beautiful but also frustrating, scary and inconvenient.

The wind isn’t seen as much as it’s felt. I don’t understand the world, but I definitely feel it.

We can see the wind when it’s paired with physical objects. When it animates the trees or blows away a tent. It cools us down or it blows sand in our eyes. We can feel its absence, when the outside air is so still that it’s stifling.

My first name, Millicent, means “strong in work”

🌬️A hard working gust of wind that only makes sense when paired with tools of expression ⚔️

I was lucky enough to be chosen for the No Vacancy annual group show, that will run for two weeks from Thursday… The winner gets a solo show at the gallery so keep me in ur prayers 💭 I could really use the external validation right now 😑

Below is a video we watched in my class this week, unrelated to anything I’ve been saying but it really moved me 🩶🩶🩶🩶

Thanks for being here

I hope you’re sharing your gifts 📝🩵

Milli 🌪️